Inspirational thought of the week:
and also you are attempting you are attempting so exhausting
however I swear it in your coronary heart
and also you play you play the sport
however you pay you pay for it
you almost certainly can’t win no, you almost certainly can’t win no
–“you almost certainly can’t Win,” Kelly Clarkson
right here at backside 10 Headquarters, positioned behind the moonshine nonetheless the place John Daly has his breakfast earlier than Arkansas day video games, we spent Week 1, which with video games from Thursday to Monday was certainly almost one complete week, eager about worthwhile and dropping. Not the distinction between one and different, however comparatively what it means when each really feel simply like the identical expertise on the identical time. As a form of goth-wanting dudes on a form of cable community tattoo-contest actuality reveals as quickly as said when requested to clarify what it looks like getting a countertop’s value of physique ink needled into one’s pores and skin: “the sensation is pleasurably uncomfortable.”
To be clear, we weren’t occurring this psychological pathway as a consequence of we’re contemplating getting Randy Edsall’s autograph emblazoned throughout our decrease backs. No, we gave up on that dream method again after he threatened to sue us for copyright infringement.
instead, we’re trapped on this win/loss emotional thoughts blender as a consequence of, as you is in all probability about to be taught (assuming you have gotten not clicked on one factor else already), a quantity of teams included on this week’s rankings had the audacity to win their video games. nonetheless, these victories bought here in opposition to supposedly lesser opponents. And after we’re saying lesser opponents, we imply faculties we wished to do an internet search on to be taught the place they’re positioned and in the event that they actually have a soccer workforce. precisely what the athletic directors of the underside 10 faculties wished to do when it bought here time to place collectively a schedule which will produce some wins, even when these W’s in the end wound up feeling like L’s.
Like, say, two L’s on the tip of Edsall as a consequence of it is injected into the dermis simply above your L5 lumbar vertebrae.
With apologies to Kat Von D and Steve Harvey, this is are the publish-Week 1 backside 10 rankings.
1. UMess (zero-1)
The dangerous information is that the Minutemen started the season with a forty two-10 loss at TU, as in Tulane. the extra extreme information is that they are on the avenue as quickly as extra, this time to UT, as in Toledo, the place they’re 4-TD underdogs inside the Glass Bowl. in all probability the solely information? All due respect to the beignets at TU and the Hungarian scorching canine at UT, the campus that is dwelling to the nation’s backside-ranked workforce is in all probability dwelling to the nation’s extreme-ranked campus eats for the sixth straight yr. Making a multitude on the sector is much less sophisticated to swallow if you come dwelling to make a multitude in in all probability the solely mess hall.
2. Huh-Why?-Yuh (zero-2)
The Rainbow Warriors adopted up their Week Zero sixty three-10 loss to backside 10 common Vandy with a forty nine-17 loss to backside 10 common Western Kentucky. Up subsequent is a go to to a decidedly non-backside 10 common in Michigan, adopted by a go to from zero-2 FCS social media sensation Duquesne (bear in thoughts the dude with the too-large purple britches?) after which a September-ending potential Pillow battle of the yr of the Century in opposition to …
three. Whew Mexico State (zero-2)
Former Minnesota Gophers head coach Jerry Kill led the completely different Aggies onto his outdated stomping grounds, and the Gophers took that stomping half very significantly. It was the worst reunion since my cousin Lonnie confirmed up for Thanksgiving after borrowing money from everyone inside the household for a “can’t-miss funding alternative” after which sunk all of it into Alliance of yankee soccer NFTs.
4. Temple of Doom (zero-1)
The Bowels traveled to Durham to face Duke and simply saved going south, dropping 30-zero to a workforce that has gained simply one ACC convention recreation since 2019. They have been final seen someplace shut to the Georgia-Florida line consuming peach ice cream, buying for low cost tickets to Legoland and texting again to Philly, “inform the Lafayette Leopards we’ll get there after we get there.”
5. Oregon … DUCK! (zero-1)
As in, “Duck! Dive! Dodge! There’s one other Georgia defender coming! And he is chewing on one other online page of Dan Lanning’s playbook!”
6. Akronmonious (1-zero)
sure, the Zips gained. The Zips gained over the St. Francis college purple Flash. The Zips gained by a rating of 30-23 after being favored by 17 factors. The Zips gained after coming into the sport with, in line with the usually mystically and magically right ESPN FPI system, an 88% probability of worthwhile however spent pretty a little bit of the sport caught round 50%. The Zips gained, nonetheless it took them an OT interval to do it. So, sure, the Zips gained, however did so over a workforce that was picked to finish third inside the Northeast convention of the FCS. So, sure, typically a win does not really feel an complete lot completely different than a loss, particularly if you come out on different side and are immediately positioned on a bus certain for Michigan State.
7. U-can’t (1-1)
almost all of what you only look at Akron’s win may even be utilized to the UConn Huskies’ 28-three victory in opposition to Central Connecticut, aka the workforce that was picked to finish one spot behind St. Francis inside the NEC. Now the Huskies host Syracuse inside the Hey do not you want This Was A 1999 Basketball recreation Bowl.
eight. FI (not A) U (1-zero)
The Panthers iced their win over Bryant with a two-level conversion in OT. simply to be clear, they did not ought to enter time past regulation to edge out a college based by Bear Bryant, Dez Bryant, Bobby Bryant, Martavis Bryant, money Matt Bryant and even Anita Bryant. No, they edged out Bryant college, the Rhode Island-based mostly workforce picked to finish fifth inside the six-workforce large South convention of FCS.
9. Charlotte zero-and-2’ers (zero-2)
The 49ers opened the season with per week Zero forty three-thirteen loss to FA(not I)U and adopted that up with a forty one-24 downing by the palms of William & Mary, which earned its first victory over an FBS workforce since 2009. Charlotte has emerged as a sleeper decide to win the underside 10 title, with seemingly a quantity of Pillow Fights of the Week over the horizon in opposition to FI(not A)U, Minute Rice and MTSU. talking of the workforce from Murfreesboro …
10. Muddled Tennessee (zero-1)
The Blew Raiders blew a motor at James Madison, dropping a forty 4-7 nailbiter. That achievement unlocked the reward of internet hosting Saturday’s Pillow battle of the Week, touring to Colorado State, the place the Rams’ horns are nonetheless sore from spending their Week 1 Saturday afternoon making everyone in Ann Arbor really feel larger about any potential publish-CFP hangover.
ready record: No-braska, Virginia Tech No-kies, Minute Rice, Whew Mexico, ULM (pronounced “ulm”), UTEP Minors, dropping 2-level conversions, refusing to uncross one’s arms for 4 hours.
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